It Doesn't Belong to You

“It doesn’t belong to you.”  A simple truth communicated to children whose hands want to grab what their eye deems lovely. Adulthood picks up responsibility and productivity and reputation, but arms too full sometimes let simple truths slip out. So we lust with our eyes and turn worship inward on self. We view other image-bearers as objects for our own satisfaction. “It doesn’t belong to you.”
Anxiety becomes an unnoticed metronome. We run frantic, either our visible bodies or unseen minds, trying to prove we are worthwhile.  Worth, all the while, was never meant to be determined by us. We want desperately to be deemed loveable, equating the admiration of others with that core longing.  Glory belonging only to God appears so lovely that we snatch at it, with our hands, with our whole selves. “It doesn’t belong to you.”
Childlike trust fades and we buy the lie of self-determination. Masters of our own fate, we pretend our backs don’t bend beneath the weight of autonomy. We cast oursel…

Coming Home

Returning to all that’s familiar is a comfort that has weight. Safety shares a coin with responsibility, and as it flips, all the to-dos flash in a blur. But the One who breathed out the idea of spaces, then filled them all with glorious reflections, is just as in control as when you left. He knows your going and your coming. What you long to lay down and how you will rise up. Nothing you hoped to leave behind or were surprised to pick up along the way is outside of his sovereign hand.

Seeking Faces and Justice

“Many seek the face of a ruler, but it is from the LORD that a man gets justice.” Prov. 29:26
We swap, steal, and sell power like currency. Ignoring the only true source, we window shop one another and stick price tags on our own reflections.  We scoff at Kingdom economy and embrace one we curate, where we fear rejection and vie for acceptance, all from equal sojourners who are fearing and vying in unison. This exhausting dance follows the rhythm that sin ushered in. Because we hand out power, we later come back to collect justice. I buy in to the idea that powerful people can right my wrongs, or write my pardon. I’ve created a carboard bench which I ask to approach and fear a paper gavel.  In the only courtroom that will never crack or crumble, the verdict has already been given.  The scales of mercy and justice balanced perfectly on a cross-beam. My debt has been paid, and my account has been filled with a glorious inheritance. That is a transaction that changes everything.  

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There's Blood in the Water

There’s blood in the water.  The life within now outside.  Elements mixing, swirling. Colors exchanging. Willful vulnerability, because freedom is worth it.  A signal to predators. Blood always means weakness to them. So they turn and come. Priests of old sprinkled it. Today in pews we sing of it.  Ultimate Power within skin chose it let it flow. Comingled together, blood and water. Those who prey misunderstand power. It is not in the snarl or bite, it is in the blood.

The Cost of Lies: Reflections on 'Chernobyl'

As a self-aware history anemic, I often find myself having a surface-level understanding of past events or geographical locations. The name Chernobyl was familiar, but when my husband asked if I knew what it was, I was thankful the description of the HBO mini-series was already pulled up on our television screen. My lack of historical prowess may have been advantageous in this one instance.
I was immediately drawn in to the story, which opens with the main character, Valery Legasov (Jarred Harris), recording himself giving a narrative account of past events, with only his cat there in his small apartment to listen. I felt the intended sense of foreboding as I watched what he did with the cassette tapes he made, and the numerous bowls of cat food he set out. The close-shot of the space separating his shoes from the floor foreshadowed the chasm of truth waiting to be excavated. The Fear of Insignificance  The writers, directors, and actors of this five-part miniseries masterfully quilt…

The Fear of Man Lays a Snare

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Prov. 29:25 Fear- charadah: anxiety, quaking
Be not wise in your own eyes; fearthe LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Prov. 3:5-8 Fear- yaré: revere, to stand in awe of

Snares are effective because they blend in with their surroundings. What appears to be a safe, leaf-covered path actually contains a trap meant to entangle and hold without relenting. And once a poor creature steps into the snare, a greater being outside of itself must intervene to set it loose.  God designed us for joyful unity with him and one another. He alone has authentic authority to set worth and purpose. But we created beings misappropriate, then fear the opinions of those to whom we’ve bequeathed the power.  Fear of man blends into the forest floor of our heart. A chameleon whose offspring is anxiety.  We hope other jars of clay can fill us up, but this approval-lust is a broken c…

Straight Paths and Crutches

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Prov. 3:5-8 “An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, but one whose way is straight is an abomination to the wicked.” Prov. 29:27 
Healed and refreshed. Fighting against injustice and a thorn in the side of the wicked. Being led on straight paths by the One who is outside of time and sees far more than I. Surely invaluable realities like this carry a price tag which I cannot afford.  But they only cost my pride. My self-perceived wisdom is a cracked crutch which I think can bear the weight of my future, but it will inevitable let me down, hard. Yet, my first parents gave me an inheritance that I instinctively guard. Like a treasure chest filled with ashes, my disregard for authority and tru…